Hi everyone...
It's been a CRAZY day (to say the least) but I wanted everyone to know that my brother had his scan today. I actually got a text from him just now that he's done. Unfortunately, his oncologist had to cancel this afternoon's appointment. UHHH! So now we wait for the results. Larry is headed on a little vacation next week so hopefully, we will get the results when he gets back. I will let you know as soon as we know when that appointment will be rescheduled.
I hope everyone is keeping dry and safe in this crazy weather!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Day 2 Reflection
I want to start by quickly letting you know that Larry is doing well after his last chemo treatment. A little nauseous but nothing a pill or two can't take care of. He actually stayed home and rested today (that is a rare occurrence).
Day 2 of my 7th inning stretch of reflection...social media is a good thing.
I spend most of my day helping middle schoolers and their parents navigate the world of social media - Instragram, Facebook, Twitter, Keek, group chat, Youtube, snap chat..the list goes on and on. Ninety-five percent of my conversations are based on the negative aspects of social media. How not to bully, how not to post inappropriate pictures, how not to talk to strangers on-line, the problems of looking at porn on youtube at home and staying logged on to your account when you get into school...again the list of how NOT to use social media has been my world for awhile. In fact, on most days I wish that it would suddenly disappear and we go back to word processors and phones that attach to the wall.
With a little reflection of the past 9 months, I have a new appreciation for social media. It can be a GOOD thing. Right now I am able to keep my family, friends and acquaintances updated on my brother's journey with cancer by using a simple blog. All of you have been able to take this journey along side of Larry through the use of the world wide web.
I have used social media to stay up-to-date on my cancer research through many cancer chat rooms and blogs. I can talk to other people going through colon cancer and hear their experiences and also share my brothers. In one click I can be chatting with a person in the Netherlands that also had the HIPEC surgery. In another click of the mouse, I can help ease the pain of the 22 year old in Wyoming that is suffering from the affects of the white cell booster shot.
I have used Facebook and Instagram to quickly post status updates and pictures while we are at the hospital getting treatment or while my brother is in surgery. The supportive feeling my brother gets when someone 'likes' an update or picture or when someone takes the time to comment on a picture or status update is indescribable. It means SO very much to know there are people all around the world that are thinking about my brother and sending positive thoughts his way. To be honest, it's a little overwhelming (in a good way).
Now, I have to share a funny story about how yesterday, social media brought many laughs to my family. Larry was in the middle of getting his chemo. I'm not sure I have explained how long he is sitting in a chair while bags and bags of chemo pump through his veins. 6 HOURS!!!!! I've only sat through a couple of the treatments, but let me tell you it is BORING! Often times, Larry gets a good nap in the middle of it. Well, yesterday I decided to capture this nap with a picture. And of course I posted it. I do have to say my reasoning behind taking and then posting this picture on facebook and instagram was to give everyone an idea of what it's like to go through chemo. Here is what I posted:
I didn't see one thing wrong with this collage-I was actually very impressed that I was able to use the frametastic app on my phone. Many hours after posting said picture, my brother looks on Facebook and sees the wonderful collage that I put together. I think his exact words were, "LAAAUUUURRRRA you posted a picture of me sleeping???" "I look awful..like I had a stroke on top of getting chemo". I started laughing and I could not stop. My mom got the giggles and could not stop laughing. My brother at first did NOT find it funny at all!! But after a couple minutes he joined in on our laughter and we all could not stop. I don't know if you have had the privilege of hearing my brother giggle, but it truly is one of the best sounds in the world!
Reflection has allowed me to take a minute and step out of my everyday grind with middle schoolers and realize that social media is and can be a good thing. I use it everyday in a ways that have profound impact in my world - I can feel supported with a click of a key, I can keep people updated on my brother's journey with cancer, and sometimes it even provides laughs when you least expect it.
Sox it to it Lar...
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Take Me Out to The Ball Game
Take Me Out to the Ballgame,
Take Me Out With the Crowd,
Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks,
I dont care if I never get back
Let me Root Root Root for the White Sox
If they don't win it's a Shame
For it's
One
Two
Three
Strikes your out at the ole' ball game.
That's right baseball fans, we've reached the 7th inning stretch in this game against cancer. FINALLY!!!!! (with a big sigh of relief) It has taken 9 months to get to this place, but we have arrived. Today, Larry had the last of his chemo treatments. If you're keeping score that is 12 treatments in all, with a lil' surgery in between. That means we are at the end of his treatment plan that was given to us in August :
one round of chemo
CAT scan
HIPEC surgery
one round of chemo
CAT Scan
The last thing on the list is the CAT scan that will reveal if the chemo was successful. He will get his scan next Thursday morning and that same afternoon we will meet with the doctors to hear/go over the results.
So now what? Well, it is the 7th inning...so we stretch. Stretching means different things for different people. Some people take this time to head off and grab a beer and a brat, others go to the bathroom while others stay at their seats, stand up and stretch their legs while taking in the smells and sounds of the ballpark. All in anticipation of the next 2.5 innings left in the game.
In this game against cancer, I did not anticipate that the 7th inning stretch would be so difficult. Yes, we are at the end of his treatment plan, that should and is a good thing, right? I just can't stop thinking but now what????
We have to wait a week to find out if there is currently cancer in my brother's body. Somewhere in his body, not sure where, or even if it's there at all. Even if it's not there in a week, when will it return? Will it return? How will we know? What will happen then? Will the treatment plan be the same? Will there be more surgeries? When I see a call from my brother at an odd time, will my heart always race thinking something is wrong? AHHHH...does this uneasy feeling ever go away?
This is why I am choosing to use this 7th inning stretch as a time of reflection. If I can look back on the last 9 months and reflect on ways it has changed me as a person, then I can put all of those nagging questions in perspective. Maybe just maybe it will give me the strength that I know I have to look ahead with a sense of certainty. Not a naive certainty like, I think everything is going to be great, always. I mean a sense of certainty that whatever is thrown my way, whatever is thrown my brother's way we can deal with it.
So, here I go....
Day 1 of my 7th inning stretch of reflection...learning to live in the moment.
I have learned how to live in the moment and to celebrate even the small things. Today, we celebrated my brothers last chemo treatment in this current plan. In November, we also celebrated the end of his first round of chemo. Some people questioned why, since we aren't celebrating my brother being 'cancer free'. When you live in the moment you allow yourself to celebrate small milestones. Heck, you allow yourself to celebrate.period. During today's celebration, we ate blue frosted cupcakes while my brother was getting his chemo. I forgot to buy plates so we proceeded to dive into the cupcakes while crumbs fell everywhere. I looked up from my cupcake and my mom was eating over a bag and my brother had blue frosting all over himself. I just smiled - now that is a celebration! If you know my mom you get a chuckle out of this... and if you know my brother you know that's just him. It was a normal Matson celebration in a not-so-normal setting. After chemo we had our traditional 'chemo' dinner at my moms. We, of course, had to celebrate with a champagne toast. Throughout the night, I laughed so hard my stomach and cheeks hurt and my eyes watered. That is how you let yourself live in the moment. and when you allow yourself to live in the moment, you allow yourself to celebrate the small things. We allowed ourselves to quiet that uneasy feeling if just for a couple hours. And let me tell you, it felt GREAT! You should try it sometime.
Sox it to it Lar...
Take Me Out With the Crowd,
Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks,
I dont care if I never get back
Let me Root Root Root for the White Sox
If they don't win it's a Shame
For it's
One
Two
Three
Strikes your out at the ole' ball game.
That's right baseball fans, we've reached the 7th inning stretch in this game against cancer. FINALLY!!!!! (with a big sigh of relief) It has taken 9 months to get to this place, but we have arrived. Today, Larry had the last of his chemo treatments. If you're keeping score that is 12 treatments in all, with a lil' surgery in between. That means we are at the end of his treatment plan that was given to us in August :
CAT Scan
The last thing on the list is the CAT scan that will reveal if the chemo was successful. He will get his scan next Thursday morning and that same afternoon we will meet with the doctors to hear/go over the results.
So now what? Well, it is the 7th inning...so we stretch. Stretching means different things for different people. Some people take this time to head off and grab a beer and a brat, others go to the bathroom while others stay at their seats, stand up and stretch their legs while taking in the smells and sounds of the ballpark. All in anticipation of the next 2.5 innings left in the game.
In this game against cancer, I did not anticipate that the 7th inning stretch would be so difficult. Yes, we are at the end of his treatment plan, that should and is a good thing, right? I just can't stop thinking but now what????
We have to wait a week to find out if there is currently cancer in my brother's body. Somewhere in his body, not sure where, or even if it's there at all. Even if it's not there in a week, when will it return? Will it return? How will we know? What will happen then? Will the treatment plan be the same? Will there be more surgeries? When I see a call from my brother at an odd time, will my heart always race thinking something is wrong? AHHHH...does this uneasy feeling ever go away?
This is why I am choosing to use this 7th inning stretch as a time of reflection. If I can look back on the last 9 months and reflect on ways it has changed me as a person, then I can put all of those nagging questions in perspective. Maybe just maybe it will give me the strength that I know I have to look ahead with a sense of certainty. Not a naive certainty like, I think everything is going to be great, always. I mean a sense of certainty that whatever is thrown my way, whatever is thrown my brother's way we can deal with it.
So, here I go....
Day 1 of my 7th inning stretch of reflection...learning to live in the moment.
I have learned how to live in the moment and to celebrate even the small things. Today, we celebrated my brothers last chemo treatment in this current plan. In November, we also celebrated the end of his first round of chemo. Some people questioned why, since we aren't celebrating my brother being 'cancer free'. When you live in the moment you allow yourself to celebrate small milestones. Heck, you allow yourself to celebrate.period. During today's celebration, we ate blue frosted cupcakes while my brother was getting his chemo. I forgot to buy plates so we proceeded to dive into the cupcakes while crumbs fell everywhere. I looked up from my cupcake and my mom was eating over a bag and my brother had blue frosting all over himself. I just smiled - now that is a celebration! If you know my mom you get a chuckle out of this... and if you know my brother you know that's just him. It was a normal Matson celebration in a not-so-normal setting. After chemo we had our traditional 'chemo' dinner at my moms. We, of course, had to celebrate with a champagne toast. Throughout the night, I laughed so hard my stomach and cheeks hurt and my eyes watered. That is how you let yourself live in the moment. and when you allow yourself to live in the moment, you allow yourself to celebrate the small things. We allowed ourselves to quiet that uneasy feeling if just for a couple hours. And let me tell you, it felt GREAT! You should try it sometime.
Sox it to it Lar...
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