Still Kickin'

Still Kickin

 Still Kickin'

Year to year, month to month, week to week, day to day…sometimes hour to hour and second to second…you put one foot in front of the other and you live life.. And Sometimes in life you just need to lift that leg a little higher, point your toe and kick the shit out of anything in front of it. And sometimes you lift both legs a little higher and lighter and skip. That’s Life.

Cancer changes lives. The person that is living with it and the people supporting the person with cancer. Cancer is a bully. An unworthy opponent. No one ‘battles’ cancer because it’s an unfair battle. You live with it by putting one foot in front of the other. Some days putting one foot in front of the other is enough, some days you lift that foot and kick it and other days your legs feel light enough to pick both of them up and skip through it.

My brother has walked, skipped and kicked like hell since July 18, 2012. And that is what he’ll continue to do. Last Friday, Dr. Stein, Larry’s oncologist, reminded us to live in the moment and don’t think too far ahead.

Live in the moment.

The hardest thing to do when facing a cancer diagnosis and reoccurrence. The unknown is scary. Our primal brains are programmed to constantly think ahead so we can foresee danger and react. Being able to live in the moment goes against our biological make-up. Fortunately, my brother has mastered the idea of living in the moment. Because that is what he does and has done since his diagnosis. We all need to practice a little mindfulness so we can stay in the moment with him.

On Friday, Dr. Stein went through the pathology report from the recent surgery in detail and then laid out a ‘plan’. When Dr. Salti did the surgery he took out the cancerous piece of his colon that was detected on the PET scan. When he did that he cut more off then just the cancer to make sure the margins on both sides of the incision are clear of cancer. The pathology came back that the extra he cut off also had cancer, which indicates he did not get clear margins. So what does that mean? That means the doctors are left to guess if cancer still remains in my brother. They cannot confidently say they got it all. Pathology also confirmed that the piece Dr. Salti found on Lar’s scar tissue was indeed cancer. (which we already knew).

Now for the plan. Again we need to stay in the moment and tick off each step as they unfold.

Lar will start a round of chemo the week before Thanksgiving. It is the same chemo that he had. Ahh…some familiarity…we know it, we know what to expect and we know he was a rock star and skipped right through it.  It will be 12 weeks – chemo every 2 weeks. He’ll get chemo at the hospital for 8 hours and then go home with a slow drip chemo pump for 2 days. He will then heal from the chemo (a couple weeks) and then will have another surgery to ‘explore’ if there is any visible cancer. The plan is that the chemo will take care of it, however the doctors want to be certain that he is cancer-free. If more cancer is found, there are a couple options. Radiation, another HIPEC surgery and/or a trial of immunology treatment. I’m still researching and gathering information on this trial – when I feel confident that I know exactly what it is, I’ll share.

I bought this t-shirt for Lar awhile ago after reading about Nora Purmort the founder of the organization, Still Kickin. She chronicled her love story with a man that lived with brain cancer for 3 years. Check out her website HERE.

I loved that she says, ‘this isn’t a t-shirt. It’s a symbol to the world that whatever comes your way, you’re ready to kick it right in the nuts. Because we are all still kickin. Even if some days it seems harder’.

All anybody can do is keep kickin….and sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other and sometimes feel light and skip. Lar will continue to take life day to day and continue  living in the moment and more importantly he’ll keep kickin’ cancer in the nuts!

Sox it to it, Lar...