Halfway point

I'm happy to report that Larry received his 3rd chemo treatment yesterday. He's tolerating it well. His counts have been low, which is normal for chemo, but the nuelesta shots are working wonders. He has kept with his schedule: chemo on Tuesdays (every other week), go home with a slow drip pump of chemo for over 24 hours, he pulls the pump out himself and goes to work. He uses his 2 days off for his chemo treatments. He hasn't missed a day of work due to chemo - UNBELIEVABLE!!!
He is halfway done with this round of chemo-6 total. After this round of chemo his body will heal and then he will have an 'exploratory' surgery. 

Happy holidays to everyone - we have a lot to be thankful for!

Sox it to it, Lar...

Chemo 1/6 in the books

Larry started chemo yesterday. All went well. One down....6 more to go.

Sox it to it, Lar....

Still Kickin'

Still Kickin

 Still Kickin'

Year to year, month to month, week to week, day to day…sometimes hour to hour and second to second…you put one foot in front of the other and you live life.. And Sometimes in life you just need to lift that leg a little higher, point your toe and kick the shit out of anything in front of it. And sometimes you lift both legs a little higher and lighter and skip. That’s Life.

Cancer changes lives. The person that is living with it and the people supporting the person with cancer. Cancer is a bully. An unworthy opponent. No one ‘battles’ cancer because it’s an unfair battle. You live with it by putting one foot in front of the other. Some days putting one foot in front of the other is enough, some days you lift that foot and kick it and other days your legs feel light enough to pick both of them up and skip through it.

My brother has walked, skipped and kicked like hell since July 18, 2012. And that is what he’ll continue to do. Last Friday, Dr. Stein, Larry’s oncologist, reminded us to live in the moment and don’t think too far ahead.

Live in the moment.

The hardest thing to do when facing a cancer diagnosis and reoccurrence. The unknown is scary. Our primal brains are programmed to constantly think ahead so we can foresee danger and react. Being able to live in the moment goes against our biological make-up. Fortunately, my brother has mastered the idea of living in the moment. Because that is what he does and has done since his diagnosis. We all need to practice a little mindfulness so we can stay in the moment with him.

On Friday, Dr. Stein went through the pathology report from the recent surgery in detail and then laid out a ‘plan’. When Dr. Salti did the surgery he took out the cancerous piece of his colon that was detected on the PET scan. When he did that he cut more off then just the cancer to make sure the margins on both sides of the incision are clear of cancer. The pathology came back that the extra he cut off also had cancer, which indicates he did not get clear margins. So what does that mean? That means the doctors are left to guess if cancer still remains in my brother. They cannot confidently say they got it all. Pathology also confirmed that the piece Dr. Salti found on Lar’s scar tissue was indeed cancer. (which we already knew).

Now for the plan. Again we need to stay in the moment and tick off each step as they unfold.

Lar will start a round of chemo the week before Thanksgiving. It is the same chemo that he had. Ahh…some familiarity…we know it, we know what to expect and we know he was a rock star and skipped right through it.  It will be 12 weeks – chemo every 2 weeks. He’ll get chemo at the hospital for 8 hours and then go home with a slow drip chemo pump for 2 days. He will then heal from the chemo (a couple weeks) and then will have another surgery to ‘explore’ if there is any visible cancer. The plan is that the chemo will take care of it, however the doctors want to be certain that he is cancer-free. If more cancer is found, there are a couple options. Radiation, another HIPEC surgery and/or a trial of immunology treatment. I’m still researching and gathering information on this trial – when I feel confident that I know exactly what it is, I’ll share.

I bought this t-shirt for Lar awhile ago after reading about Nora Purmort the founder of the organization, Still Kickin. She chronicled her love story with a man that lived with brain cancer for 3 years. Check out her website HERE.

I loved that she says, ‘this isn’t a t-shirt. It’s a symbol to the world that whatever comes your way, you’re ready to kick it right in the nuts. Because we are all still kickin. Even if some days it seems harder’.

All anybody can do is keep kickin….and sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other and sometimes feel light and skip. Lar will continue to take life day to day and continue  living in the moment and more importantly he’ll keep kickin’ cancer in the nuts!

Sox it to it, Lar...

Recovering at home

Larry broke out of the hospital this weekend and is resting comfortably at home. He is getting used to the colostomy bag and tolerating the incision pain well. He actually walked 8 blocks to CVS today! He is remarkable!
He will see Dr. Salti on Monday for a post-surgery check-up and then he will see Dr. Stein for next steps with chemo and the surgery to reverse the colostomy. For right now, the doctor is ordering plenty of rest so he can have a full recovery and be strong for hopefully just one round of chemo.

Thanks again for all of your support! You all mean the world to my family!

Sox it to it, Lar.

Third times a charm?

Third time is a charm? I don't know, does this apply to surgeries?

Lar is recovering quickly and well. That is one positive for having a colostomy. He sat up and walked yesterday and this afternoon he actually had pureed food. He is at least 3 days ahead of his normal 'recovery' time. I'll take it.

Dr. Salti, his surgeon, will reassess tomorrow (Friday) but I bet he will be home by this weekend. He has to be able to tolerate oral pain medication and eat solid food without getting nauseous. He's half way there - as I sit here typing he took his first pain pills. Keep your fingers crossed that he can tolerate them.

For each surgery they have used the same scar. To give you an idea it is from from his breast bone down to his pelvic bone. For this surgery they used the same scar, however they had to extend it a couple inches past the pelvic bone. That's a lot of staples and discomfort. It is healing quite well and I have to say it is quite fascinating to see-he is starting to get tired of me wanting to look at it.

That's it for now. I'll update you when anything changes.

Sox it to it, Lar!

3rd Surgery is in the books

This will be a quick post, I want to update you on yesterday's surgery...I have another post halfway finished but exhaustion has set in and I cannot think anymore. 

Larry's surgery was a success. Dr. Salti removed all signs of cancer-the original  cancer spot that was detected with the colonoscopy and the PET Scan was a lot lower in the colon than what was expected. In order for Larry to heal properly, Dr. Salti had to put in a temporary ileostomy (colostomy bag/stoma). Obviously this is not ideal, but Dr. Salti assured us that it was temporary. So, just a lil' bump in the road.

Dr. Salti also found another site of cancer that he was able to remove. This too was unexpected, but we are glad he found it and took it out.

Larry is recovering much faster from this surgery than the others (another positive for the stoma). He's already sitting up and the NG tube is out. You know he's feeling better when he is listening to the news about last night's democratic debate and rolls his eyes and calls Bernie Sanders a socialist. He's back folks :) I can't wait to hear his commentary about the Cub's win.

Looking ahead...the pathology report will take a couple days, however Dr. Salti is certain that Lar will have another round of chemo. This will happen after he heals from the surgery. We won't know what kind of chemo or the specifics of the plan until pathology comes back and we talk with Dr. Stein.

Thank you to everyone who texted, e-mailed, messaged, called.. with well wishes. Your support is what keeps us positive, fighting and moving forward!

More to come.

Sox it to it, Lar!

Surgery postponed & A great weekend for a walk

Today, was supposed to be the day. Surgery day. Lar's body had other plans. Throughout the last few weeks, his blood sugar has been very high and hard to stabilize. What does that have to do with surgery?? That was my question. I just want this cancer out of his body. Apparently, your body does not heal well when blood sugar is erratic. Since, Lar is going to go through major surgery, his surgeon decided to postpone the surgery until he is absolutely certain his body can tolerate it. Tuesday, October 13th is the new surgery date. We are keeping our fingers and toes crossed that his body cooperates!

On Saturday, the LRM Crew walked in our 3rd Get your Rear in Gear 5k. It was a beautiful day for a walk with family and friends. I feel so grateful that we have so many friends and family that take time out of their busy schedules to walk with us. It was an amazing day! Thank you to all that came and walked and those that donated! Your support means the world to us!
Here are a few pictures from the day - 

Sox it to it, Lar......

Lar making a wish after brunch

Celebrating the survivor!

The poster everyone signs each year

7th inning stretch was great while it lasted!

My family has really enjoyed the 7^th inning stretch of Larry's game against cancer. We’ve moved on with our day-to-day lives and have been able to slowly move cancer out of our everyday thinking. Now, to be fair every time my brother had a CT scan or colonoscopy we would hold our breaths until we got the ‘all clear’. We got used to that ‘all clear’. Larry has been feeling fine-working hard, taking vacations, and watching the Sox....win sometimes.

So, when he went in to get a routine colonoscopy on August 31^st, we held our breath, like we always did, until the doctor came out to say everything seemed fine. We all breathed a sigh of relief and went back to living the way we have since May of 2013. That is why it was such a shock to get a text from my brother the following day that read, time to get your cancer notebook out. Once again, I felt like Mike Tyson punched me in the gut- I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, all I could do was look at my phone and re-read the text in disbelief and shock.

The ‘cancer notebook’.-the notebook I started when he was first diagnosed. The notebook that stayed up all night with me while I feverishly searched the world wide web for everything colon cancer. The notebook that I had in my possession AT ALL TIMES (literally, in my purse) for 17 months. Just in case someone told me something I didn’t know about colon cancer, or a question popped in my head that I had to ask his medical team, or at appointments when the doctor couldn’t recall a level or dosage or a date-I had it all in my cancer notebook. The notebook that would elicit an immediate eye roll and a disgusted sigh from my brother when I would whip it out to write something down or recall something.

My comfort. When nothing else seemed to soothe me to sleep, or to stop my hair from falling out or get me to eat the months following the diagnosis. It was the notebook. When you’re up against an unfair opponent like cancer, you feel powerless. I realized quickly Knowledge is Power. The notebook contained all my cancer knowledge. It gave me some power back from the worst opponent ever. Cancer.

One of my last blog posts was about my brother’s remission and my notebook (read it HERE)   How hard it would be to put it away, and what that meant. Well, my notebook laid on my coffee table up until this August. I unconsciously chose not to put it away. I would entertain and there it would be amongst the wine glasses and food just blending in like it fit there. After awhile I didn’t even notice it, think about it, or glance at it. After all, I was enjoying the 7^th inning stretch!

Until.... last month when I packed up my condo to move. I had no choice but place it in a box. I, of course, sat and glanced through it. I giggled at my naiveté in the beginning of Larry’s cancer journey (the doctor’s were very patient with my questions), I shed a few tears at the prognosis I was given by the internet with every damn search I typed into google (I tried typing stage IV colon cancer 80 different ways hoping I would get a different result), I smiled at the guest list for the first Get Your Rear in Gear 5k-everyone’s support got us through the dark times, and without hesitation I packed my cancer book safely in a box with the rest of my books and journals.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would receive a text to get it back out less than a month later!

Currently, I sit writing this entry 300 miles away from my mom, brother and my cancer book. After getting the news that we are definitely facing a ‘cancer reoccurrence',  I wanted to jump in my car and go home to be with my mom and brother. I wanted to be at every doctor’s appointment like I was before, I wanted to give my mom a hug and reassure her everything was going to be okay, I wanted to give my brother the opportunity to roll his eyes and sigh like a teenager when I pulled out my cancer book at his doctor’s appointments. Just like the last time we went through this. As I was melting down via text (I hate talking on the phone) my best friend who has gone though a lot herself the past 9 months, responded,

 ‘but it’s not like the last time......'

I wanted to throw my phone at her and yell at her that she didn’t understand. Gosh, couldn’t she just join my pity party instead of crash it?!

But the phrases sunk in slowly and I gained a new perspective.

She’s 100% right. It definitely is NOT like last time. This is a new journey……

….. We are definitely well rested after the extra long 7^th inning stretch

….. the reoccurrence was found early

….. we have an idea of what to expect with the upcoming surgery

….. we have the same amazing medical team that are not only the most knowledgeable and experienced but also care very much about my brother and family

….. we’ve added to our LRM Crew

….. Larry gained an angel who would NEVER let anything happen to her favorite grandchild

So, my original cancer book is officially retired. Nope I'm not taking it out of retirement (we don't need another Michael Jordan nightmare)... I bought a new notebook-a new prospect…only fitting for a new journey and a fresh perspective. AND the doctors still have to deal with me at every appointment – ahhh….the beauty of FaceTime. I haven’t missed an appointment yet!

We are now heading into the top of the 8^th  Inning…

On Monday, September 28^th Dr. Salti will do surgery to remove the cancerous portion of Lar’s colon. Once again in this journey, we feel incredibly lucky that Dr. Williams biopsied a portion of Lar's colon that 'didn't look right'. At first he thought he had cut it with his tool while performing the colonoscopy. And at the last minute decided to biopsy it. Thank you Dr. Williams!
If you can remember back to his emergency surgery Dr. Adajar removed 6 feet of his colon and attached the two ends. This attachment point is where the current cancer was found. Right now it looks like Dr. Salti will just need to remove 6 inches, however as we found out the first time…you never know until they go in. Dr. Salti is concerned with the scar tissue from the past two surgeries, however he is confident that Larry will not need a stoma. The surgery will be at Edwards hospital in Naperville where Dr. Salti is now practicing.

Dr. Stein, Larry’s oncology, is guessing that he will need another round of chemo following the surgery. Until they perform the surgery and biopsy the colon, she is uncertain what kind of chemo he will need.

As always, my brother remains positive and is ready to fight. My mom remains the strongest person I know. She just wants the cancer OUT! She would have my brother in surgery right now if Salti would do it. 
Thank you to everyone for your continued support, it means a lot to my family. We are so lucky to have you all. I will continue to update the blog if more information becomes available and as we get closer to the surgery date. If you haven't subscribed to the blog do it now, to stay up-to-date.

As always....
Sox it to it Lar....